I Love My Ex-Girlfriend

I love her more than anything in the entire world...She's the only person who has really showed me what love was without expecting something back. She had loved me unconditionally, and I mistreated her.

It's hard to think of the way things have changed and how I must act in order to win her back. But, I love her, and I will do anything to have her by my side again. To feel her hand against my own..to be able to stare into eachother's eyes and see exactly one another's souls. That feeling of singularity, where hurting her is like stabbing yourself. You feel everythin together. You laugh as one and you love as one.

God, I miss her so much.

I have to give her space so she can recover. So, she can think things over and decide if i'm right for her. If she can trust me with her heart again. I understand wholly and agree because I need to take this time to prepare for her. There's something about being in a relationship with L that makes you want to be a better man in everyway. You want to not only be her support when she's troubled, but you want to be her guide in almost any practical way - her answer on any question, the expert on wines at dinner, the perfect interviewer for when she's preparing for full time positions, the supreme gentleman for those romantic candle lit dinners that all women love. So what does preparing for L mean? Reading every fucking dummies guide known to man?

No, it's simpler. Much simpler. I need to go back to God. the Lord taht breathed life into our relationship; I need to pursue him again. I love my Savior and she does too. God was the center of our relationship, but somehow along our path we were seperated from him. It was mainly my fault. Worldly possessions and human nature is hard to dodge. But I want to run the race again and follow God. Only through Him, will I find the answers, the expertise, the guidance, the ways to truly love, appreciate, and understand L.

I know my relationship with L is sanctified by God, like I believe that everyday the sun will rise and everynight the stars will shine. God brought us together and He will be with us again.

It's so hard to leave L. I have to be selfless and let her be. The pain I put her through is unimagineable.

I was heartless - a beast.

It's so hard to not be able to write to her, to send her flowers, to do anything to contact her. But in my heart I know the right thing is to wait.

I am showing her how much I love her by waiting and giving her time to recover.

She is my sweety, my boo bear, the only star in my sky, my shipmate - my love forever.